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How? Well, I’m not there but indicate that short and intense has a requisite level of hot for you that allowed you to put up/post the kind of orgasm that overshadows whatever he’s seen before. So … let it vary! Create a circumstance that favors your pace and rewards him for meeting it. The issue - that it doesn’t now - reflects that sex works best when it varies, maybe. Right now he thinks he is doing something that meets with your approval. You have a timing variance and nothing wrong with addressing it but “fault” is not the way to get there. No matter who is saying this, I often think this is the wrong way to think about it. So how do I communicate this without seeming like I’ve been miserable the past three years? - Kath From Bathĭear Bath Beach: Overthinking this might not be the way to get the best result here. My vagina is not interested in all night. He also thinks that this is sexy and attractive and has some pride in being able to go all night. We’ve been married three years and while most complain about partners who are too fast my partner is way too slow. Slow PokeĮUGENE, SIR: I read you all the time and have yet to see you address the problem I’m having. The point in total though? The best action in the room shouldn’t be on the screen. Being force fed any kind of pornography, really, like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, seems to be missing the point in total though. Sex is/can be mysterious, mystifying, magical. Like I’ve said, though dharma gates are endless and you can find meaning anywhere, the tendency to politicize sexual activity, though sexual activity is not above being politicized, usually leads to less than erotic outcomes. Suggestions, sir? - Name withheld by requestĭear No Kinda/Sorta/Maybe Means No: An argument for why?!!? Sure! “Is there a reason every single sex act between/betwixt you and I has to be accompanied by a commercially produced film that, yes, just happens to have one guy delivering pizza to another guy who left his wallet somewhere else and can’t think of any way to pay other than a friendly massage?” But I can’t think of an argument for why. “Which is porn made for men by men but that doesn’t subjugate women!” So up for a dare, I say “sure.” Six months later, this is a regular feature and I’m done. Then something happened and it got political and “this is porn made for men by men! This is the gayest thing ever!” Then, “for you to know how I’m feeling we should watch porn I choose!” That ended up being gay porn. When Gay Porn Is Not Enough/Too MuchĮUGENE, SIR: At first she wanted to watch porn when we had sex. I’m sure I’m missing something but probably not much. If your partner belittles your intelligence and/or sexual attractiveness? Well, they WANT you to cheat.įinally, and here I’m in agreement with Jesus: If your partner is crazy and/or violent with a drug/alcohol problem to boot, though there are other better remedies for this than tossing sexy gasoline on a very much not sexy crazy, violent fire, you could not be blamed for seeking succor elsewhere. If your partner joylessly accedes to sexual contact with you in the face of repeated requests to discuss “what’s wrong”? Your pass has been validated. If your partner cheats first and/or baselessly denies you sexual favor? Your pass has been validated.
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I’m unsure of where you’re going here with the religious underpinning for infidelity, but there for sure is a scale. Could you give me an infidelity chart? - E.V.ĭear Electric Vehicle: Jesus said that? Jesus who hung around sex workers and working men? I’m not so strong on Bible verse, but when you measure infidelity up against murder, it clearly seems to be a lower-grade deal, and given how often both occurred in the Bible, is there any wonder? King David? Unfaithful and a murderer.
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EUGENE, SIR: Jesus said that cheating is permissible if your partner is crazy, violent and unfaithful themselves, which seems to imply that in regards to infidelity, despite the commandments, there is some wiggle room.